Lesson 50 (!) – I have no power over it

Good morning dear readers,

how are you this morning?

It is currently 04:30 in the morning and I am wide awake…so why not write my 50th blog post!

I’m trying to improve my sleep quality by going to bed at about 20:30 each evening and reading until I fall asleep at about 21:30. However I have been waking up nearly every day at about 03:00 or 04:00..so something still isn’t really working.

This week I want to reflect on a lesson which has had a huge impact already this year.

What is and what isn’t in my control.

When I thought about this it lifted a great weight off my mind.

By identifying what I could not control I was able to see where I was using up unnecessary energy to try and do the impossible – of forcing a change where a change could not be forced.

However when I realised what I was in control of, this influenced how I made decisions related to my personal well-being.

What I am in control of:

I am in control of my thoughts, actions and emotions.
I am in control of what food I put into my body.
I am in control of the amount of alcohol I drink (this week none!).
I am in control on whether I go to the gym or not.
I am in control of what I choose to read on the internet.

What I am not in control of:

I am NOT in control of decisions other people make.
I am not in control of other people’s feelings towards me.
I am not in control of the way I am treated by other people.
I am not in control of my body

With these new thoughts I was able to take better control of various situations

When a guy heckled me during my comedy set and called me toxic – I was in control of my emotions and decided to actually not care about his opinion. I can’t control his opinion but I am aware that he doesn’t know me well enough to judge me in that way.

When my ex-boyfriend sent me a message, telling me that he had found the woman for his life I admit that I felt a little jealous and resentful. Then I took stock and decided that I did NOT want to feel these negative emotions and instead focus on the positive. Someone is making him happy – and that is a good thing.

When I had to present to the board at work, I was able to alleviate some of my nerves by telling myself “Laura – you’ve done as much as you can do. You are control of how you present your ideas. You are not in control of the final decision – so whatever the decision is – it is something that you don’t have the power to control”.

Give it a try.

Look around you and your situation in life. What can you control and what not?

As always, thanks for reading.

Laura xoxoxoxoxo

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